Food & Feelings
by midgee92
Summary: Iain does something a little out of the ordinary to break through Lily's walls. A little Lillain one-shot loosely based on the trailer clip for this Saturday's episode.


Lily took a breather the first moment she could; with the Ellison's back on the scene the ED was not a comfortable place. She felt exhausted today, emotionally as much as physically. Lily didn't really know where she was walking but she ended up by the ambulance outside of the ED.

"Hey!" Lily jumped and looked up. Looking straight at her were Iain Dean's concerned eyes.

"Hi, sorry I was..." Lily trailed off, in truth she didn't know where her mind had wondered too. Most of the time she was either internally worrying about her upcoming consultancy exams, feeling guilty about Cal, or thinking about the paramedic stood before her.

"I know. Lily, look" Iain started. "Iain!" Lily stopped him – she knew what he was going to say and despite knowing he was right she didn't want to hear it.

"What's going on? You still doing that I don't need help thing? How's that working out for you? You're not alright are you?" Iain winced, he hadn't meant it to come out quite as harsh.

"I'm fine" Lily sighed.

"I'm worried about you, I just don't want you to over-do it."

"Iain, I have no choice. My exams are in a couple of weeks, I have to do well! I don't need you going on at me. I am fine!" Lily snapped and marched off back towards the entrance of the ED.

"Then why did you come here then?" Iain shouted after her, exasperated. Lily blinked back the tears as she walked back inside, Iain's words ringing in her ears. She knew why she'd walked to the ambulance. She needed to hear his voice but the internal battle inside her mind was shutting him out, despite how much she wanted to let him in.

Louise watched Lily walk back inside and followed her path to where Iain was stood, scratching his head, a perplexed look upon his face. She handed him the coffee she had bought for herself. "You look like you need it more than me. Sorry it's not a pint!"

He half-laughed. "Cheers. Why won't she listen to me Lou?" Iain had given up denying to the nurse how he felt about Lily; it was pointless.

"Because she's Lily Chao; stubborn, determined and absolutely petrified of failing. But believe me I think deep down she wants your help."

"But how?" He sighed, he couldn't see a way to break down those walls she had put up since her accident.

"I think she knows she's overdoing it so you ramming that down her throat isn't going to help. Maybe show her you care in a slightly less conventional way, I know she's not eating properly!" With that Louise walked back inside, leaving Iain to ponder on her suggestion.

It was 8:45pm and Lily was sitting in her living room surrounded by a mountain of books, journals and papers. Her stomach groaned loudly; she hadn't properly eaten all day, and with so much revision she hadn't stocked up her kitchen. Ten more minutes of work then I'll make some toast, she told herself. However no matter how hard she tried to concentrate her mind drifted. Back to the conversation earlier today and the concern in his eyes, back to the day in the hospital ward when his words were so soft and full of promise. The only time she had found the courage to mention it to him she was interrupted by Louise and since then the consultancy exams seemed to take over every waking moment when she wasn't working.

Her stomach grumbled again, forcing Lily to make her way to the kitchen. She let out an audible moan when she saw the last remaining slices of bread were scattered in green bits of mould. As she aggressively hurled them into the bin her doorbell rang. Lily was confused – she never got visitors. As she opened the door her stomach flipped at the sight that engulfed her doorway.

Iain was stood in a hoodie and jeans with a large shopping bag upon his shoulder. "Please don't tell me to go away. I get that how I worded things earlier wasn't great but answer me this, what time is it?"

Lily looked at him confused, looked at her watch then back to him. "9 o'clock."

"Yes, and have you eaten tonight Miss Chao?"

Lily shifted awkwardly on her feet. "No. I was about to make toast but the bread's turned to shit!"

Iain looked amused, not used to hearing Lily swear. He took the shopping bag off his shoulder and raised it slightly in front of him. "I thought as much!" He ignored her raised eyebrows and continued, "If I can't stop you from studying then I am to make sure you eat whilst doing so. I am going to cook you dinner and you are not going to argue with me"

"You can cook?" Lily smiled as she stepped back, accepting the help that was being offered to her.

"Don't be cheeky. I am full of surprises me!" Iain replied as he turned her around and guided her back to where he assumed her lounge was. "I'm just going to guess my way around your kitchen and fetch you when the food is ready." He left Lily open-mouthed and utterly gobsmacked. She had never expected him to do this for her, especially after the way she had batted him down earlier. With a smile upon her face Lily actually found herself productively working.

In the kitchen Iain thought about Lily as he prepared their food. When she answered the door all he wanted to do was drop his bag and envelope his arms around her; she looked so different in a grey oversized hoodie, leggings and her hair messy on top of her head, and yet he loved the way the homely style suited her. He had so much he wanted to say to her but it could wait – he needed to be there for her as a support first and foremost. He was finally understanding what these exams meant to her, and if that meant stepping back for a little while then he was prepared to do so. He was brought back to reality when the focus of his thoughts was stood in the doorway smirking at him.

"Ahhh, and he's back!"

"Hey! You're meant to be studying!"

"And you're meant to be doing more than just stirring sauce for 5 minutes!" He was just about to protest when Lily spoke again, "I actually came to see if you wanted a glass of wine. You're in my flat cooking me food and I haven't even offered you a drink."

"Well I didn't want to disturb you but yes actually, a glass of wine would be lovely. Food will be ready in 5 anyway."

Lily smiled, "lovely. Red or white?" Despite having no food in her kitchen she did have wine to offer.

"Oooh, white please. Goes better with this pasta."

"Ooh pasta, I did wonder what we were having." Lily poured 2 large glasses and handed one to Iain. She looked up at him and smiled gratefully. "Thank you. Cheers!"

"Cheers!" Iain responded as they chinked glasses.

They ate dinner in a comfortable silence, Lily too hungry to be able to hold a conversation. Iain watched her with a fondness in his smile. "What?" Lily asked, noticing Iain's gaze.

"Nothing, I'm just glad I decided this was a good idea!" He nodded toward her empty plate, chuckling.

"I didn't realise how hungry I was in all honesty. And Iain Dean, you are a fine cook. You can do that again!" Iain's laugh subsided as he considered her comment; he couldn't work out if there was a hidden meaning underneath it or if she was just being complimentary. He stood and began to clear away, Lily joining him as they cleaned the kitchen together silently, both lost in their own thoughts about one another.

Lily refilled their glasses and they stood next to each other, backs against the work surface, bodies slightly touching. Tonight had been great Lily mused; for the first time in days she had processed what she was reading and she had been fed by the wonderful man next to her. Realising she had been a bit of a fool earlier, she fought the urge to turn around and kiss him. "I, um…" Lily struggled to find the right words. "I just wanted to say thank you again, you really didn't have to do this tonight but I'm glad you did and I really appreciate it." She smiled, but she couldn't look at him.

"I know I didn't, but I wanted to. Needed to. I care about you Lily."

Lily smiled, "I know you do."

Iain sighed, he couldn't stand and say nothing any longer. "No, I _really_ care about you. I…"

Lily set her wine glass back on the counter. "I know." Lily's voice was barely a whisper. "I heard you."

Iain moved from beside her to stand in front of her, putting his own wine glass down. "You did?"

"I did," Lily looked down at her feet "But then I found out about Cal, and I started to get stressed and then I didn't know if I dreamt it or even if I hadn't dreamt it then whether you meant it or…" Lily was aware she was rambling but she couldn't stop. Not until Iain's finger lifted her chin to look up at him.

"Can I do something?" Iain asked, still holding her chin and rubbing her cheek softly with his thumb.

Lily blinked back tears that were forming in her eyes as she nodded. Iain stepped even closer to Lily and slowly moved his head closer to hers until his lips were pressed to hers in the gentlest of kisses. He moved away slightly and began to speak "I'm sorry if that was inappropriate, but as you know by now words aren't really my thing. I'm better with gestures you see…" he said, nodding to the pasta dish soaking in the sink. His rambling was promptly put to an end by Lily turning his head back to face her and crashing her lips onto his. Yes, she had exams to prepare for. But right here, right now she couldn't resist this man any longer. As this kiss grew more passionate, Lily looped her arms around Iain's neck as his moved towards her waist and effortlessly lifted her onto the worktop. The wine glass behind tumbling over caused the pair to part.

Lily giggled nervously. "I've actually wanted that to happen for a while!"

Iain pecked her lips again. "Oh you have no idea!" His smile turned serious as he looked her deep in the eyes. "I meant it all Lily, I want us to become something. But I completely understand where your priorities lie at the moment with your exams and I promise to support you in any way that I can."

Tears were once again forming in Lily's eyes as Iain's words sunk in. Smiling, she looked up at him "You can cook me dinners?"

"Of course."

"I am so glad you knocked on my door tonight!" Lily wrapped her legs round Iain's thighs, pulling him closer to her for a hug.

Iain kissed the side of her head and whispered in her ear "Yeah, I'll thank Louise tomorrow!"


End file.
